Talking about Weight Gain

There are some dangerous waters out there through which you can tread, and talking with someone you love about weight gain might be one of the most dangerous of all. This is because weight is something a person can not hide, and is a highly personal issue. It is hard to bring such a thing up without someone lashing out at you and feeling hurt and alienated. If you bring this up with someone, you had better have a very good reason to do so, and you had better know how to do it. The trouble is, there may not be a good answer for how to talk about weight gain the right way.

Talking to a friend or loved one about their weight gain is a subject that requires great sensitivity.
Talking to a friend or loved one about their weight gain is a subject that requires great sensitivity.

Your concern for your friend or family member may be coming straight from concern and love, but they may not see it that way. When you think about broaching the subject, there are a few words you need to stay way from. The word ‘fat’ is not something anyone wants to hear. Avoid any derogatory words for ‘fat’ too. Some use them for the shock value to get someone’s attention or because they are angry, but using those is a huge mistake. Instead, talk about ‘weight gain’ rather than someone ‘getting fat’ or ‘looking like a pig.’

If someone you love as gained five pounds, and you are concerned about how they are going to look in your wedding, don’t bother. However, if someone has gained significant weight in recent months and seem to be depressed, you may very well have a good reason to talk with them. Your main topic needs to be their health, both mental and physical. Tell them that you are worried about them because they do not seem to be happy and they are not caring for themselves as they use to do. That alerts them to the problem (they may very well be depressed and in denial), or at the very least it will let them know you see a problem and that you care about them.

When it comes to the time to talk with your child or children about rising weight, you have to be extra careful. What you do could scar a child for life if you make them feel bad about themselves. Instead of talking about weight, again, talk about health. Tell your child that you are revamping the menu so everyone in the family can be healthy (and then do it!), and that everyone is going to start doing more together outside. At the same time, reassure that that you love them and that you want them to be around for a very long time. Also stress that you are concerned about your own health (even if you are not) so that they do not feel as if they are being picked on.

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